Hold on to the Memories

When you lose someone you've loved dearly.. You are not only left with pictures and memories, you are also left with their energy and energy goes on forever.. Do not fear their energy when it manifests itself into our realm.. They've moved on to another realm but now have the ability to surf between the different realms ..

They are no longer limited by the physical capabilities of this world .. You are no longer separated by oceans or land .. And although they are invisible in our realm.. We still have the ability to feel them.. 

When you've been around their energy for a long time throughout your life.. You will know exactly when they are around you because although you won't see them, if you open the eyes of your heart you will be able to recognize their energy..

When you lose someone you loved.. it's not so much the thought that they are gone from our physical world that is hard to forget, but rather all the memories and the energy they implanted in your heart. And in retrospect it's all those little moments that made them a special part of your life and will live on forever through you as well.. Hold on to the memories..

In loving memory of Rosa Victoria and Ligia Esther .. My eternal loves.. 

Love and Light

People come and people go.. Thankful for those who have stayed.. Have just walked in.. Returned .. And even for those simpletons who have foolishly left my life... Love and light!!! 

I am still in the metamorphosis process and breaking out of my cocoon.. But please hold .. And watch me evolve into a queen monarch.. The world is mine and yours for the taking.. In love and light!!!

Where does time go?!

I haven't written in a while.. Not because of lack of inspiration but because I've been inspired so much I don't even know where to begin.. Continue .. Or stop..

During the past month I became a year older and therefore a year wiser.. I had the privilege of visiting the west coast and the northeast coast in the span of 10 days and less than 24 hours in between both .. All while growing as a woman during the first phase of my trip and taking my single mother experience to a new level during the latter...

I made some wishes come true.. But once those wishes came true, they actually just made me want more wishes .. I followed the desires of my heart .. I cleared some doubts.. I unveiled new ones.. I questioned my old friend and foe, time, yet again and why it insists on making me wait..

I discovered that although I'm easy going and sweet and caring.. If you mess with my offspring you've gotta be out of your mind, for you have no idea the wrath this momma bear will unleash on you, to defend her cubs (thank you ignorant racist lady in Washington D.C. for helping me discover this side of me).. And I discovered that being a single mom on vacation with your kids isn't so bad when you have a best friend who will carry your 5 year old on her shoulders (something I've never even done myself) to keep him entertained.

I'm still trying to process all these new experiences and figuring out what the heck I want to do with my life.. And how all these things will fall into place.. But then again if I knew all the answers, that would suck out all the fun out of this thing, this so called life..

In the meantime all I know is that this woman right here.. Has a promising rendezvous with destiny.. Maktub (it is written) ..

The Scars of the Mended Heart

The scars of a mended heart.. Remind us that although it's whole once more.. It will never be the same again..

Oh that splendid feeling of being in love and knowing that it was reciprocated.. There is just nothing quite like it..

"How sweet it is to be loved by you" becomes your favorite humming tune.. Every tree swaying and every star glistening spell out their name..

You stare at each other and profess love until the end with each batting of your eyes.. You hold each other close and breathe in the aroma created by the proximity of your bodies.. and even the energy released by your souls can light up an entire town..

Giving into the mesmerizing effects of this love, you expose your heart and let it fly freely like a hot air balloon.. If you are fortunate when you put your feet back on the ground, your lover will still be right beside you to take you on the next journey..

But if the hot air balloon suddenly malfunctions, there is nothing you can do to prevent the inevitable crash landing..

That is why when that surreal love suddenly breaks your heart, all that magic and bliss turns to sorrow and hurt. It's like an unexpected sucker punch that leaves you breathless and numb..

And as you start picking up the pieces of your broken heart, you wonder if it will ever be whole again.

The answer is, yes it will..

Time truly heals all wounds, but time also leaves a scar.. A scar so big, it changes the appearance of your once pristine heart forever.

Why couldn't such a beautiful heart remain intact..

Unfortunately after developing those scars in your heart, any individual that you let near it, has to zig zag their way around the closed wounds left by someone else.

And even though it is still one of a kind, the healed scar tissue hardened several areas and changed the aspect of what once was.. And sadly no one will ever get to see its original form ever again.

The scars of a mended heart.. Remind us we loved so intensely, it changed us forever.

Would you be able to love as intensely once more, perhaps... After all what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..

Bring it Universe!

Like we never loved at all..

Subconsciously I've been looking for a sculptor to heal my heart.. When all the while I'm the only one and God that can do such a thing..

My idea of love has been a fairy tale.. True love happens, once maybe twice, maybe more in your lifetime, but it is not without obstacles..

You will disappoint each other.. One more so than the other .. It will be tried, to the point that the love you once swore to never let go of and that you would always have for them.. becomes dormant, numb, and then you lie to yourself and say it's gone forever..

It's much easier when you cut out all communication with that person, because it's helped you stay "strong." When in fact all you are doing is running away from the feelings you still have for that person. But due to this or that reason that drifted the two of you apart, your pride, pain, prejudice keep getting in the way..

You stay away because you know that in their presence you become completely vulnerable to them, like if they were kryptonite and by merely getting close to you they can take away your power.

You shouldn't give up your power to anyone, but you shouldn't waste your short life wondering what if either..

Maybe the time isn't right for your love to flourish to its full potential, maybe it's just a brief interlude to what could turn out to be the greatest love of your life..

Either way.. Running away from those feelings will never make you stronger.. Accept them, it's ok .. Maybe they've moved on.. Maybe they are able to be okay without you for now ...

But you do not know what tomorrow brings..

I'm not saying contact them and stalk them, but if they reach out to you, if you are able to speak to them and not fall apart, that's how you know you've truly become stronger .. Or that you have moved on yourself .. Or that you haven't..